HORROR STORY

I lay in bed and already I can feel my demons rising to the surface, I ‘ve tried hard, honestly, to lock them away and focus on the positives in life. They have a way of escaping and filling my head with questions like what if? What could I have done differently? And what could my future have been like? This isn’t the first time this has happened you know, its been happening for over a month. I feel like the dark walls close me into my space, leaving no room for me to move or breath. Even with the lights on, I can still see the visions which keep me up at night and terrorise my head. It’s a sickening feeling, it makes me feel worthless, empty and drained. Closing my eyes doesn’t even help erase the pain and fear I’m going through. Its stopping me from living my life as it is now, it’s like my inner demons want me to endure what I could have had instead of what I need to do in order to have now. I cry every night knowing there going to scare me, worry me and betray me. My heart grows faster when I these inner demons remind me of my failed relationship, reminding me of how much I l love them still and what life could have been like with them. Family members who are no longer here and the constant reminder of bills to pay, work and the expectation to be okay! I am a shell of who I once was. The horror of it all has truly changed my life, for the worst. These inner demons never used to be here and now they won’t leave, I can’t be alone, I’m never alone. At times, the dark is better company than the feelings and thoughts I am currently battling the elements.