Thank you for submitting your work. Please see feedback below.
Knowledge and understanding
There is some understanding of COPD but this could be improved.
Discussion and analysis
The introduction presents what the essay will contain. The pathophysiology of COPD is not discussed in depth. Some of the focus is out of context. Assumptions were made which were incorrect. Mobility was identified as the area to focus on but some of the assessment tools chosen were irrelevant in Derek’s situation (see comments I made within text), Derek’s cause for reduced mobility has not been fully considered. More thought and compassion is needed when considering Derek’s situation, this is lacking. Self-management is mentioned but some of the strategies are already being implemented by Derek and his wife. You were able to explain the nurse’s impact in Derek’s life. The conclusion could have been improved.
Evidence of reading
Evidence of reading is limited as there is reliance on websites as references.
Academic style (including referencing, structure, grammar)
There is no consistence in reference style and some literatures are incorrectly referenced. The sentences were not linking at times. Please seek guidance from the Academic Achievement team to improve in academic writing skills. There is a need to improve in grammar and presentational skills.
Summary
You have addressed the learning outcomes, however there is a need to improve in attention to detail and making sure you understand what is required of you from an assignment brief. Refrain from writing out of context. More breadth and depth is needed in the work. Please consider the comments I made within text. The word count and similarities are acceptable.
Feed Forward
Please also access the following links for useful information on the following:
University referencing guidelines: https://library.roehampton.ac.uk/referencing
Learning skills Hub – https://moodle.roehampton.ac.uk/course/view.php?id=3700
Library Adviser you can contact on Library Chat or email Monday to Friday, 9am – 5pm. You can also Text for Help: 020 3389 7542 with any queries: https://libraryfaqs.roehampton.ac.uk/faq/191784
Signature (marker)
T Ngcozana
Date: 07/05/2025