*let the video load before playing*
Task
My body is changing
physically, emotionally, spiritually, it’s all so everchanging
I’m pregnant
Super scared, super anxious, paranoid
Some days are filled with joy amongst thoughts of a little naked baby boy,
floating on a cotton cloud making mummy proud
But also days filled with terror that something might go wrong
Must be my lives’ theme song
My body doesn’t feel like mine anymore
I’ve fallen through a trap door
I just have to exorcise that penny for thought,
Exorcise with an o not an e.
Get this demon out of me
Not the baby, baby isn’t a demon
The demon of the paranoia out of me
Goal
I found myself on new territories whilst attempting this assignment as I had never expressed myself through poetry as I always believed it was too hard for me to fully comprehend. The video of me singing along to Halsey’s Easier Than Lying I decided to include on this page was on constant replay when I was writing this poem and it seemed only fitting to incorporate it here. The songs releases so much havoc and craziness that felt extremely relevant to what I was trying to write about.
I discovered that I not only enjoy writing poems, but also appreciate using experiences in my life and transforming and decoding it into a form of art. I believe it is important to talk about taboo subjects and shine a light on the darker side of the spectrum of miscarriages. In all honesty, I did find it somewhat difficult to completely open up about personal experiences, but that’s what makes it a horror story. It is my worst fear, so having to live it technically made me a final girl of the story.
The term Final Girl was coined by Carol J. Clover in her 1992 book Men, Women, and Chainsaws: Gender in the Modern Horror Film, to refer to the last girl standing at the end of a horror movie. The final girl also later go on to tell her story, or even sell thousands of memoirs like Sydney Prescott in Scream 4, she shines a light on tougher themes, which is what I internally intended to do with this poem.